A Sense of Uselessness sort of
No this post is in no way suicidal! Settle down! Instead of jumping to conclusions why don’t you just read the post. Oh and I’m sorry I haven’t been writing, I know I’m a jerk.

So have you ever been around a group of people and suddenly have your head shrink? I mean your Ego. Of course I didn’t mean some Amazonian head shrinker comes out and shrinks it. *sigh* I don’t consider myself an overly arrogant person, or even very arrogant, maybe a little but I think I”m not too bad… Anyways I’ve always been pretty good at things… as long as they didn’t involve sports, or PE class, or spelling, or girls…. ok so I’m pretty bad at lots of things. Anyways other then the things that I’m horrible at I’m pretty good at others and for the most part I tend to be a fairly intelligent person.

*WHAMO* *stars circle head* Every once and a while I feel like my Ego takes a hit. The most recent time (besides what has triggered this post) was when I moved to Harwood. Like I said before I think for the most part I’m a reasonably smart person. I didn’t get a 4.0 in High School because well.. I’m also lazy. But even the people that did get 4.0 would every once and a while go “Damn TJ how did you figure that out??” So I figure I was doing pretty good. Then I moved to Harwood. *replay cartoon image of me being knocked on my ass* I think that living on Harwood was awesome but sometimes.. man I just felt dumb, not really a bad thing but it was still there. Most specifically in my field of choice (computers). Now I realize that Mike and Peter are a few steps ahead of me as far as classes and stuff go but wow. I mean amazing stuff.

Tonight my comes again from peers in my decided field. Over the summer I’ve grown a part of the Adium community. Adium is an Open Source chat client for OS X and is completely awesome, and so are the guys that make it. I’m learning a new programing language on my own time so eventually I can help these guys out with the amazing program they have written. Now these guys (at least some) are some hard core hackers. I use hackers in it’s original meaning and the meaning that I prefer: programer. These guys talk about picking up a project one day for some fun and wiping it off to a website be that night. Just amazing guys.

Tonight I was reading one of their blogs. And the guy is dyslexic! Completely blew my mind. Amazing programer and he’s dyslexic. *again replay cartoon*. I guess the point of this post is… humility checks are good. And all I can do is talk to these guys and say “Hey it would be cool if you could add <feature X> to Adium. I can’t do squat. Thus tonight’s Entry Title :D.